Dear Tee,
A colleague of mine though in another department wants to have a serious relationship with me that will lead to marriage. And I like him and would want to be with him. But he told me he had something to do with another colleague of mine and because of that he didn’t have the courage to ask me out till now. They were together for about 2 years, but the relationship did not work out because of religious differences; she is a Jehovah Witness and he is not. And he wasn’t ready to become one, so he had to walk away and they both are in good terms. I’m kind of worried because she is my immediate colleague; we share the same office, eat together, play together and do a lot together although she has never told me she once dated him. Should I give him my consent? I’m afraid it will cause problems between my friend and I if she finds out. And I wouldn’t want such an atmosphere in my office. Please what do you advise?
Anonymous
Dear A ,
I think you have to be careful with the way you handle this issue to avoid enmity with your friend. Really, your friend would not be happy with you if you date this guy because she has once dated him…she might say its no problem, but since she has dated him before, there would still be an iota of feelings for him because its not like he hurt her or did something bad to her….its just of their religious differences. She might even be waiting for him to make up his mind about her, she might not be over him yet. Who knows? I think you should just tell your friend that this guy asked you out and you are thinking of what to give him as the response. …she should be able to tell you her mind, if she still likes him or not. If she still does not let you know that she dated him, then I think you can go along to date the guy if you really want to. Personally, I don’t think I would date my friend’s ex anyway, but it is still bout your own decision here….if you feel you really like to date him.
All the best,
Tee.
From wht I understand d relationship between dis guy and ur friend started and ended b4 ur friendship wit started, so I don’t see any problem wit u going ahead to consent to his advances if u truely love him and he loves u. But I will equally advice u discuss it wit ur friend too and make her see reasons for ur intended action if the reason given for d break-up of their relationship is true. IT IS WELL.
I tink d best tin 2 do sinc u dnt wnt 2 hv ani proz wit ur colleague u shld let her knw wat z goin on btwn u nd her ex-boyfriend
If they broke up b4 u guys met is an advantage, then again talk with ur friend concerning him, so as to know her stand on d matter, this will give u an edge, then give ursef some little time, ensure not to rush over this issue, if he is urs u will not miss him. Goodluck to u.