Just broke up with someone? Here are better things to do better than planning revenge on them –
1. Getting a Breakover Nothing is more motivating on the treadmill than the revenge of looking hotter than ever post-breakup. Work out, eat right, learn how to lift weights, take up hot yoga, pluck your nose hair, do a hundred sit-ups before every shower… by the time you’ve done all this (OK, some of this) you’ll have forgotten who you were trying to get revenge on in the first place.
2. Being a Better Person Volunteer somewhere. Because nothing puts your own problems in perspective like helping out people who are even less fortunate than you are. You know, people who fought for their country and ended up in a wheelchair; people who are dying in a nursing home with no one to visit them; kids who have nowhere to go after school; people who can’t get a date to the soup kitchen. Kinda puts your own “probs” into perspective. We won’t be so crass as to suggest you might meet someone new this way, but we know it crossed your mind. We won’t tell.
3. Getting Busy Start a blog, take up a new hobby (preferably one where you’ll meet new people, like joining a running club), read a Russian novel, write a Novel, paint your room, learn how to take really good photographs, sort out your closet and host a clothing swap, learn chess with a friend, teach yourself Mandarin — basically, keep yourself busy with something that will make you feel good about yourself afterwards.
4. Cutting the Cord Disconnect with your ex on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and any other ways you continue to be weirdly “social” with each other. Maybe one day you can be friends again, but for now, if you’re even considering creative forms of revenge, going cold turkey is your best bet. Trust us, a complete lack of information about your new life will be more frustrating to your ex than a hundred pictures proving how “happy” you now are and how quickly you’ve “moved on.”
5. Getting Rich This is a metaphor, people. Sure, you could buy a lottery ticket or sell your pristine collection of vintage action dolls on eBay. But what we really mean is, be successful. Finally get your own dance-studio business off the ground. Go for that promotion. Insist on a raise. Revamp your resume. All that creative energy you were thinking of applying toward a meme-a-rific revenge strategy? Apply it to your career, instead. Think: What Would Beyoncé Do? (W.W.B.D.)
6. Marking the Occasion We get that you want to mark this occasion — you want to do something to prove to the world that you’ve moved on. But your ex shouldn’t be invited to this party! And that’s exactly what you’re doing when you try to mark the occasion with revenge. Moving on should be all about you. So get a tattoo (preferably henna). Have a breakup party with all your friends. Get a new haircut or hair color. Change up your style. Create a new email sig file. Whatever works for you!
7. Having a Rebound Fling Never underestimate the benefits of distracting yourself with the joys of being single so that you won’t be tempted to indulge in any late-night revenge-planning. Try online dating (if only to get a few nice emails from strangers in your inbox) or flirting therapy (it’s like smiling — forcing yourself to do it will make you feel better).
