At first, going after the “player” was just a game, something to pass the time during a summer of restaurant work. Flirting always makes the clock go faster, right?
Little did I know that “the player” would end up being one of the greatest men I had ever met, and I would quickly fall head over heels in love with my summer fling.
Lucky for me, my player ended up being on the brink of retirement, and somehow, all the cosmic forces aligned in our favor.
While I was falling deeply in love with him, he seemed to be doing the same with me. Our flirtation shifted into a fling, and our fling quickly into a relationship.
I love that man with all my heart, but in just our short few months together, I have realized falling in love with a player is not always fun and games:
1. Everyone will always doubt you.
It doesn’t matter whether or not you doubt him. It doesn’t matter how many days, weeks or months you have been together.
It doesn’t matter how much you see him or how in love you are.
Everyone will doubt you.
They will see your hands intertwined and eye them with a look of disgust. They will roll their eyes when they hear him say, “I love you.”
They will constantly question every aspect of your relationship.
You’ll be able to brush it off, smile and pretend like it doesn’t bother you. But it will; you’re human.
2. People feel entitled to give their opinion.
Now, I am one who definitely likes to talk my decisions out with other people. But there comes a time and a place when opinions should be kept to yourself.
You can guarantee if you begin to date a “player,” everyone and their mom will come out of the crevices of your life and have a story.
They will warn you, tell you they are just trying to be good friends and hug you like they have the greatest intentions in the world.
Mostly though, everyone just wants to feel like he or she has the latest gossip.
There will be some genuine concern, don’t get me wrong; but for the most part, people will talk about things they have no business talking about.
You’ll end up extremely furious or beyond sad. Either way, it ends poorly.
3. You’re never truly comfortable.
I love every minute I spend with my boyfriend. We’re so happy with where we are in life, and I don’t doubt his love for me in the slightest.
That being said, I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am waiting for an ex biddy to come along and f*ck everything up, or a story that actually bothers me to ring true.
It’s hard to listen to such awful things about the person you love and not let it bother you. I am constantly waiting for someone to set me off, and I can never truly get comfortable with anything.
4. He may have stopped, but that doesn’t mean everyone else does.
My favorite part (note the sarcasm) about being in a relationship with a “player” is watching incredibly cocky women still think they have a chance.
There is nothing quite like eating out with your boyfriend and having the waitress throw herself at him across the table.
Hello! I know you see me, and I sure as heck don’t look like his sister.
5. He may very well give you the greatest love you could possibly imagine.
Being with him isn’t ever easy. I constantly wait for the day when it does get easier, only to realize that it isn’t going to be anytime soon. I regularly get frustrated, overemotional and defensive.
At the end of the day, though, I know I have a good man standing by my side. I know his past, as he knows mine, and I know it doesn’t matter.
It may make things a little bumpy, but his love for me now cannot be tainted by his past actions.
Being in love with a “player,” if he loves you back, makes you feel special and complete. His love is rare, and most of the time, only you know that.
People are going to continue to scoff, stare and run their mouths. They are going to try and cut you down every step of the way, and they’ll call you crazy when you mention how in love with him you are.
You will be called stupid, ignorant, delusional, desperate and a whole myriad of unattractive adjectives.
But at the end of the day, he’s yours. He loves you. And sometimes, that is enough.
